WRITERS WEEK X PRESENTATION FEB. 22, 2018
The feeling of accomplishment
that you get from overcoming obstacles that are hindering your independence and
happiness is priceless. My journey to
redefine, renew and reinvent myself has been difficult and challenging but so
very rewarding, not to mention life-changing.
Let me start from the
beginning. Believe it or not, I was an athlete in high school, playing soccer
in high school. I was good at it and I
was fit and active. I graduated from
college, got married, had kids, got divorced and all the while life was going
on, I was gaining weight. Lots of weight.
It got really out of control after my Dad died nearly 10 years ago. I went into a deep depression and food was my
comfort. As my weight ballooned, so did
my health problems. I
was taking insulin shots 4 times a day, medications for high blood pressure,
severe asthma, congestive heart failure, depression and anxiety and I had sleep
apnea. I couldn’t drive anymore because I couldn’t fit behind the wheel of my
car. I had to use a walker to walk 15
feet from the couch to the bathroom in my house. I was
only able to get around using a wheelchair here at school. My husband was working here at West with me
at the time because I needed the help to get around the building. Some of the teachers I worked with, my students,
or my husband would have to push me in that wheelchair from class to class, each
day. I eventually had to buy a motorized
scooter because it was too difficult depending on others to get me where I
needed to go here at school.
I
know that many of you in this room have experienced bullying, people making fun
of you, talking about you behind your back….well I experienced that here at
school and out in public every day, many, many times a day. We’ve all heard
the jokes and wise cracks. There is no place that is safe from the cruel words
and taunting. If you happen to be one of those who carry extra weight, then you
know how horrible people can be. It doesn’t matter whether you are a child, a
teenager or an adult -you are fair game because many people see a person’s body
size as a choice. People don’t choose to become old but
our weight-obsessed culture blames the overweight for choosing to be the
way they are. Dealing with the way people looked at me and talked about me
at school, and out in public was not easy and I started not going out, being
more of a recluse.
That is where I was---- I was desperate. That’s
a long list of issues and I was at the end of my rope. I had actually thought
this had to be the end of my life. I was dying—literally dying, My doctor told me that I would not make it to
fifty at the rate I was going. It was a
huge wake-up call-I would never see my kids get married, have grandkids, retire
and spend my golden years with my husband.
I decided that this was NOT how my life was going to end.
My
journey began nearly two years ago, April 1, 2016. I made a decision to get help. I started seeing a weight loss doctor, and a
dietitian. I looked into having weight
loss surgery butI was so heavy that I had to lose weight before it was even
safe to have the surgery. So I was on a
mission to get 100 pounds off so that I could have gastric sleeve surgery. I
learned how to eat right. I counted
calories and grams of protein. I used an
app to keep track of everything that even came close to my mouth. I made good choices with my food. I started
going to the gym. I was incredibly focused. At my doctor’s appointment On November 30 of
2016, I reached my goal of losing 100lbs.
I scheduled surgery for Dec. 19 at that visit. People might say that having that surgery was
taking the easy way out. They cut out
80% of my stomach. There is a damned thing easy about this journey. I still watch everything I eat, and there
are certain foods that I can never have. I still work at it every day, but
every minute of it is worth it. It wasn’t a miracle; it was constant mindfulness and hard work. I am delighted in the fact that I went from a 5-6X shirt to a
XL and after 10 plus years, it was so great to be able to wear a pair of jeans
again. But the best thing is that I am
here standing and talking to you. I am
walking to my classes and moving around the building on two legs and not wheels. I do not take any medications, no insulin,
and no blood pressure meds, nothing for depression or asthma anymore-nothing at
all!
As
of today I have lost a total of 205 pounds.
I still have a long way to go but I will get there. It’s really not
even about my goal weight anymore. It’s
about freedom. I’m doing things I never thought I was capable
of 2 years ago. It’s about being healthy and active and taking care of myself
so that I can build the life I want to live. It’s about being around for my
children, my husband, my friends, family and students and not being dependent
on others to take care of me and most importantly living life again. It’s about
seizing the day, instead of trying to hide, hoping no one will notice me. It’s
about being confident in who I’ve become and embracing both my strengths and my
weaknesses. Instead of being scared to try new things, I’m eager to take advantage
of new experiences. I turned 50 in September and that was a very emotional
milestone for me. I didn’t think I was
going to make it to 50. Now I’m going to
celebrate life every day for the next 50.
My weight loss journey has been so
much bigger than 205 pounds. It has given me freedom and such a deep joy. It
improved my relationships. It boosted my confidence. It changed my life into
one that I am madly in love with living.
