MY WEIGHT LOSS JOURNEY

WRITERS WEEK X PRESENTATION      FEB. 22, 2018

The feeling of accomplishment that you get from overcoming obstacles that are hindering your independence and happiness is priceless.  My journey to redefine, renew and reinvent myself has been difficult and challenging but so very rewarding, not to mention life-changing.

Let me start from the beginning. Believe it or not, I was an athlete in high school, playing soccer in high school.  I was good at it and I was fit and active.  I graduated from college, got married, had kids, got divorced and all the while life was going on, I was gaining weight. Lots of weight.  It got really out of control after my Dad died nearly 10 years ago.  I went into a deep depression and food was my comfort.  As my weight ballooned, so did my health problems.    I was taking insulin shots 4 times a day, medications for high blood pressure, severe asthma, congestive heart failure, depression and anxiety and I had sleep apnea. I couldn’t drive anymore because I couldn’t fit behind the wheel of my car.  I had to use a walker to walk 15 feet from the couch to the bathroom in my house.   I was only able to get around using a wheelchair here at school.  My husband was working here at West with me at the time because I needed the help to get around the building.   Some of the teachers I worked with, my students, or my husband would have to push me in that wheelchair from class to class, each day.  I eventually had to buy a motorized scooter because it was too difficult depending on others to get me where I needed to go here at school. 

I know that many of you in this room have experienced bullying, people making fun of you, talking about you behind your back….well I experienced that here at school and out in public every day, many, many times a day.  We’ve all heard the jokes and wise cracks. There is no place that is safe from the cruel words and taunting. If you happen to be one of those who carry extra weight, then you know how horrible people can be. It doesn’t matter whether you are a child, a teenager or an adult -you are fair game because many people see a person’s body size as a choice. People don’t choose to become old but our weight-obsessed culture blames the overweight for choosing to be the way they are. Dealing with the way people looked at me and talked about me at school, and out in public was not easy and I started not going out, being more of a recluse. 

   That is where I was---- I was desperate. That’s a long list of issues and I was at the end of my rope. I had actually thought this had to be the end of my life. I was dying—literally dying,  My doctor told me that I would not make it to fifty at the rate I was going.  It was a huge wake-up call-I would never see my kids get married, have grandkids, retire and spend my golden years with my husband.  I decided that this was NOT how my life was going to end.

My journey began nearly two years ago, April 1, 2016.  I made a decision to get help.  I started seeing a weight loss doctor, and a dietitian.  I looked into having weight loss surgery butI was so heavy that I had to lose weight before it was even safe to have the surgery.  So I was on a mission to get 100 pounds off so that I could have gastric sleeve surgery. I learned how to eat right.  I counted calories and grams of protein.  I used an app to keep track of everything that even came close to my mouth.  I made good choices with my food. I started going to the gym.  I was incredibly focused.  At my doctor’s appointment On November 30 of 2016, I reached my goal of losing 100lbs.  I scheduled surgery for Dec. 19 at that visit.  People might say that having that surgery was taking the easy way out.  They cut out 80% of my stomach. There is a damned thing easy about this journey.   I still watch everything I eat, and there are certain foods that I can never have. I still work at it every day, but every minute of it is worth it.  It wasn’t a miracle; it was constant mindfulness and hard work. I am delighted in the fact that I went from a 5-6X shirt to a XL and after 10 plus years, it was so great to be able to wear a pair of jeans again.  But the best thing is that I am here standing and talking to you.  I am walking to my classes and moving around the building on two legs and not wheels.  I do not take any medications, no insulin, and no blood pressure meds, nothing for depression or asthma anymore-nothing at all! 

As of today I have lost a total of 205 pounds.  I still have a long way to go but I will get there.   It’s really not even about my goal weight anymore. It’s about freedom. I’m doing things I never thought I was capable of 2 years ago. It’s about being healthy and active and taking care of myself so that I can build the life I want to live. It’s about being around for my children, my husband, my friends, family and students and not being dependent on others to take care of me and most importantly living life again. It’s about seizing the day, instead of trying to hide, hoping no one will notice me. It’s about being confident in who I’ve become and embracing both my strengths and my weaknesses. Instead of being scared to try new things, I’m eager to take advantage of new experiences. I turned 50 in September and that was a very emotional milestone for me.  I didn’t think I was going to make it to 50.  Now I’m going to celebrate life every day for the next 50. 

My weight loss journey has been so much bigger than 205 pounds. It has given me freedom and such a deep joy. It improved my relationships. It boosted my confidence. It changed my life into one that I am madly in love with living.