MY WEIGHT LOSS JOURNEY

WRITERS WEEK X PRESENTATION      FEB. 22, 2018

The feeling of accomplishment that you get from overcoming obstacles that are hindering your independence and happiness is priceless.  My journey to redefine, renew and reinvent myself has been difficult and challenging but so very rewarding, not to mention life-changing.

Let me start from the beginning. Believe it or not, I was an athlete in high school, playing soccer in high school.  I was good at it and I was fit and active.  I graduated from college, got married, had kids, got divorced and all the while life was going on, I was gaining weight. Lots of weight.  It got really out of control after my Dad died nearly 10 years ago.  I went into a deep depression and food was my comfort.  As my weight ballooned, so did my health problems.    I was taking insulin shots 4 times a day, medications for high blood pressure, severe asthma, congestive heart failure, depression and anxiety and I had sleep apnea. I couldn’t drive anymore because I couldn’t fit behind the wheel of my car.  I had to use a walker to walk 15 feet from the couch to the bathroom in my house.   I was only able to get around using a wheelchair here at school.  My husband was working here at West with me at the time because I needed the help to get around the building.   Some of the teachers I worked with, my students, or my husband would have to push me in that wheelchair from class to class, each day.  I eventually had to buy a motorized scooter because it was too difficult depending on others to get me where I needed to go here at school. 

I know that many of you in this room have experienced bullying, people making fun of you, talking about you behind your back….well I experienced that here at school and out in public every day, many, many times a day.  We’ve all heard the jokes and wise cracks. There is no place that is safe from the cruel words and taunting. If you happen to be one of those who carry extra weight, then you know how horrible people can be. It doesn’t matter whether you are a child, a teenager or an adult -you are fair game because many people see a person’s body size as a choice. People don’t choose to become old but our weight-obsessed culture blames the overweight for choosing to be the way they are. Dealing with the way people looked at me and talked about me at school, and out in public was not easy and I started not going out, being more of a recluse. 

   That is where I was---- I was desperate. That’s a long list of issues and I was at the end of my rope. I had actually thought this had to be the end of my life. I was dying—literally dying,  My doctor told me that I would not make it to fifty at the rate I was going.  It was a huge wake-up call-I would never see my kids get married, have grandkids, retire and spend my golden years with my husband.  I decided that this was NOT how my life was going to end.

My journey began nearly two years ago, April 1, 2016.  I made a decision to get help.  I started seeing a weight loss doctor, and a dietitian.  I looked into having weight loss surgery butI was so heavy that I had to lose weight before it was even safe to have the surgery.  So I was on a mission to get 100 pounds off so that I could have gastric sleeve surgery. I learned how to eat right.  I counted calories and grams of protein.  I used an app to keep track of everything that even came close to my mouth.  I made good choices with my food. I started going to the gym.  I was incredibly focused.  At my doctor’s appointment On November 30 of 2016, I reached my goal of losing 100lbs.  I scheduled surgery for Dec. 19 at that visit.  People might say that having that surgery was taking the easy way out.  They cut out 80% of my stomach. There is a damned thing easy about this journey.   I still watch everything I eat, and there are certain foods that I can never have. I still work at it every day, but every minute of it is worth it.  It wasn’t a miracle; it was constant mindfulness and hard work. I am delighted in the fact that I went from a 5-6X shirt to a XL and after 10 plus years, it was so great to be able to wear a pair of jeans again.  But the best thing is that I am here standing and talking to you.  I am walking to my classes and moving around the building on two legs and not wheels.  I do not take any medications, no insulin, and no blood pressure meds, nothing for depression or asthma anymore-nothing at all! 

As of today I have lost a total of 205 pounds.  I still have a long way to go but I will get there.   It’s really not even about my goal weight anymore. It’s about freedom. I’m doing things I never thought I was capable of 2 years ago. It’s about being healthy and active and taking care of myself so that I can build the life I want to live. It’s about being around for my children, my husband, my friends, family and students and not being dependent on others to take care of me and most importantly living life again. It’s about seizing the day, instead of trying to hide, hoping no one will notice me. It’s about being confident in who I’ve become and embracing both my strengths and my weaknesses. Instead of being scared to try new things, I’m eager to take advantage of new experiences. I turned 50 in September and that was a very emotional milestone for me.  I didn’t think I was going to make it to 50.  Now I’m going to celebrate life every day for the next 50. 

My weight loss journey has been so much bigger than 205 pounds. It has given me freedom and such a deep joy. It improved my relationships. It boosted my confidence. It changed my life into one that I am madly in love with living.  

The Man With Many Hats

The following work was a piece I wrote for Writers Week IX at Hazelwood West in March of 2017.

I know many of the stories you will hear this week are ones about the loss of a loved one.  Many of you have had to endure the death of someone close to you.  Writing an appreciation piece dedicated to a lost loved one is certainly a way to express those feelings. This piece that I will read today has been a work in progress for the past 6 years.  I add things to it here and there—it will probably never be finished but it is a labor of love.   Like many of you, I also lost someone very important to me.  It will be 9 years ago next week that my father passed away.  I will tell you that the feelings of loss don’t change as you grow into adulthood.   We know death is inevitable, but when it happens in our own family, our innocence is shattered and our understanding is reduced to that of a child’s---no matter what our age.  I will be 50 years old this year and every day I still really miss my Dad. 

The Man With Many Hats

The first hat he wore was a proud father, holding me, his firstborn-- his daughter--in his arms for the very first time.  So hopeful--so optimistic, and absolutely petrified to be responsible for this new life.  But he was determined to reinforce security with words of protection and comfort.  My Dad was my own personal superman.

He loved to wear his baseball cap; he could act like a child with me. Enjoying all of the firsts that a child experiences, first smile--first word--first tooth--first steps.    He took such pleasure sharing in each and every moment…. Sleigh rides, constant hours spent pushing me on the swing-set, and wagon rides on the back of the riding lawnmower.   

He was a teacher, showing me how to ride a bike, being that strong but gentle hand to keep me upright.  He was ever-present but he knew when to let me go and allow me to ride alone.  He never left me and was always running beside me----just in case, cheering on my success.  He taught me to drive, first in empty parking lots, then taking me out on the highways at the age of fourteen, letting me go---trusting that I could do it without killing anyone, guiding and encouraging me.  This was a secret that we shared, withheld from everyone including my Mother (and the Highway Patrol) for many years.  I shared this with no one until the day we were planning his funeral.   My  brother and sisters and I were sharing memories of him and I confessed to my juvenile delinquent past, everyone started to laugh and they too admitted that Dad had taken them out to drive at an early age.  The only one that didn’t know that Dad had taken all of us out and let us loose on the mean streets of Bridgeton was my Mom.  She would have totally freaked out about it.   We all shared that same secret with my Dad and never broke that promise we made to him.

He was a coach, demanding and always challenging, but fair, and full of pride with my accomplishments.  Accepting of my shortcomings, always kind with his words. 

Providing for his family was a hat he wore well.  A giver by nature, he took that role very seriously--and made sure that his wife and children were taken care of.  He was not afraid of hard work and spent countless hours away from the family he loved so that they could live comfortably.  He hated that he missed a lot of our childhood while working nights and weekends.  But he labored and persisted without complaint, making up for those lost moments whenever possible.   

He was uncomfortable wearing the hat of the disciplinarian, that was the unpleasant duty that he was occasionally forced to perform.  He was calm and mild-mannered even with his intimidating 6 foot 6 stature.  The man was a gentle giant.  

The court jester’s hat was one of my favorites.  He loved to joke and his humor could lighten even the darkest of moods.  He could find enjoyment and amusement in the smallest things, a grocery list that took hours to decipher because of his “special way of spelling.”  He would laugh so hard when I finally got home, so proud of himself that he pulled one over on me.  Sarcasm and humor were strengths of his and a gift he passed down to his children. 

He wore the hat of a handyman, a Mr-Fix-it.  No task was ever too challenging.  He prided himself on being “the idea man.”  Quality was a priority.       A carpenter by trade, he stood out and expected excellence in his work.  He could outrival and outshine anyone--with a simple piece of wood---creating  masterpieces  that would awe and inspire. He was an artist---a craftsman---he could produce something as simple as a picture frame, a wooden truck or as intricate as the house we grew up in, and it was always superior in quality. 

Once a year, he wore the hat of a tour guide, taking us to the most wonderful destinations.  He would research, plan and map out every detail of our vacations.  They may not have gone exactly as expected all the time---there were the occasional surprises---and sometimes we hit a snag in his design---like driving 200 miles then realizing they left my sisters favorite blanket at the previous hotel and having to turn around to go get it because she would not stop screaming—or him ending up in jail in Little Rock Arkansas because the license plate tags on the rental car he had gotten such a good deal on were overdue.    We definitely had exciting adventures and it is one of my most treasured memories growing up.

Wearing the hat of the financial advisor, banker and financier was an ideal role for him.  He doled out advice, dispensing his wisdom and expertise. He always had an opinion---------as I look back now I can honestly say that he was seldom wrong.    We would tease him that he should videotape his lectures and then he could play them to us whenever we needed them. ----God……How I long to hear “Tape 38” again! 

He was a loving and devoted husband, always supportive and caring--- even through disagreements, yet careful not to let his children know there had ever been a quarrel.  Never forgetting a Valentine's Day for his wife, even after 45 years of marriage, --- imagine that--every year, for 45 years!     He showed his children how adults can and should act towards each other in a marriage. 

A loyal and caring brother was another one of the various hats he sported.  Never saying no to those he loved.  Being there when help was needed ----through house additions---heartbreaking divorce---Alzheimer's----illnesses and eventually the loss of his own parents.  Even when he was physically restricted, he always took the time and made the effort to be a source of strength for others.  This taught his children the importance of family. 

He was a proud father, thrilled when his four children all graduated from college.  Something that he never had the opportunity to do. It was a dream accomplished because of his unwavering support---sacrifice---perseverance and his determination--that his children would achieve and flourish as adults.  He took the responsibility of teaching his children morals and values very seriously.  All four of his kids ended up with careers as teachers, using what he and my mother taught them to prepare their students to face the challenges of life.

The hat that was most comfortable and most precious to him was that of grandfather.  He cherished his grandbabies; all 10 of them, he loved them with every fiber of his being.  He treasured each moment they were with him. He couldn’t wait to give his grandkids their first tractor rides, before they could even walk. 

 He spent the quality time with them that he was unable to spend with his own children because he was working.  His grandchildren adored him as well;    it was a mutual love-fest.   He loved teaching them, showing them off, listening to them; challenging them and making them all feel special in their own ways. 

I remember him coming over to my house after I had my daughter, she was his first grandchild----he would pull in the driveway---honk the horn and say “bring me the kid, I’m taking her with me.”  I never knew when he was coming over and I never knew when they would be back, but I could always count on him being there every couple of days to get his Kristen-fix!  He loved spending time with my son as well. The two of them had such a special bond.  They truly were soul-mates.  Billy and my Dad would build things and fix things, and just hang out all the time. When he was around 5 years old, my Dad would take him out to McDonalds and go to construction sites to watch the heavy equipment while they ate.  I never knew at the time where they went and they would come home and tell me that he and Grandpa were “trolling for chicks.” Billy will tell you, even now at 18 years old---that his Grandpa was and will always be--his best friend.  I know for a fact that my kids will always cherish and remember the special times they spent with him and I am so thankful that they were able to spend so much time with him, learn from him and appreciate how lucky they were to have him as their Grandpa.

He never met a stranger, from the checker at Shop n’ Save to everyone who worked at Branecky Hardware—they all knew my Dad.  He had the numbers of people who could fix anything from cars to appliances, air conditioners to gutters, he knew someone that could handle any situation that came up.  When you told them that you were Stan’s daughter, they would immediately help you out and you would usually get a pretty sweet deal.   There were so many people respected and admired my Dad, this was evident by the number of people in attendance at his funeral.  His dentist even closed his office so that his entire staff could attend the services. 

The night my Dad died was the first time that I ever saw my husband cry.  Many of you know my husband-he worked here up until about a year ago.  Big guy, long ponytail, fabulous bass player, good at math, a computer genius and the most chill guy on the planet.  I love Donnie to death but let’s just say, he is not a real touchy-feely, emotional guy.  My Dad was more of a father to him than his own Dad ever was.  In the 5 years that Donnie knew him, he always felt accepted and it was easy for him to talk to my Dad, and he learned so many things from him that his father never taught or showed him.  My Dad was interested in what Donnie was doing, his work, his music and my Dad had an incredible amount of respect for the man that Donnie was because he saw how Donnie much Donnie loved and supported me but more importantly he saw how he embraced my kids and treated them like his very own.  My Dad was extremely protective of us after my divorce and no man was ever good enough—until Donnie, and my Dad made sure to show Donnie that he was a valuable member of our family.  When we lost Dad, Donnie was inconsolable.  It was heartbreaking and a little jarring to see my husband, my rock, my main source of comfort crumble in front of my eyes. 

This man with many hats was the first true love of my life.----The day he died was most certainly the worst day of my life.  I lost so much that day. I miss how safe I felt when he was here; he made me feel that any problem could be solved.  There is a hole in my heart that will never be mended, a piece of me that is forever lost. 

Remembering still brings pain and heartbreak.  But, remembering my Dad also brings the realization of how lucky I have been to have such an incredible man in my life for 41 years. 

I miss those hats, I miss that man. I miss my Dad……

But………I can think about all these memories of my Dad now and smile instead of cry (sometimes).  While I miss him every day and I still won’t take his number out of my phone, the pain is still there but it’s different, it’s bearable now.  I have been able to recapture my sense of equilibrium that I had lost in the beginning.  As I continue to flow through the stages of grief, there are days that I cannot imagine that---- one moment he was here, and then the next he was gone.    Like the wind blew this way and took him with it and it just left us here alone.      I try to use the loss of my Dad as a tool for strength when I am feeling the weakest.     It's almost like having a guardian angel.     I know he's there looking out for me, and I am constantly looking for some signs of him trying to communicate with me in my life.     I am finding that the loss of my Dad has grown with my soul, and is now a part of who I have become.   Who he raised me to be.

So in closing, my hope for those of you that have lost someone you love is simply this….. when you remember that special person---- your heart will hurt less, you will smile, and you will be able to find peace!   

PROFESSIONAL POLYGAMY

I am sure you are wondering what the title of this blog means!  I am a very lucky woman.  I have a real-life husband who is awesome, but I am fortunate enough to have two work husbands who are both amazing men. 

I will start with Dave, (since we have been together the longest).  Dave is an incredible work partner.  He reminds me so much of my real-life husband, with his laid-back personality and agreeable disposition.  We have been working together for over 5 years now and I think I have taken his Modern Media class 25 plus times.  As a special education collaborative teacher, many times you are looked at as a teacher’s assistant, you are just there and the students do not really see you as a teacher.  That is not the case with Dave, he has always treated me as if I belong and we are a team.  He makes sure to always tell the students that Modern Media is “our” class and I have never felt that I was not fully a CO-TEACHER and he lets both students and parents know from Day 1 that I am just as invested in the class as he is. 

I have been in classes previously where the teacher did not even introduce me to the class, he would have class discussions where the students would sit in a circle and I was not included.  He NEVER spoke to me, never let me work with students and basically I stood by the heater in the room for an entire year, watching him teach.  He was bizarre anyway; thank God he is no longer at Hazelwood West.  That was one of my first years teaching and I have learned a lot since then, I would never let that happen now, but luckily, I don’t have to worry about that.

 I digressed, sorry….Back to Dave.  I love listening to all of Dave’s what I call “Daveisms”.  My absolute favorites are:

1.       “ My trip”--he says that when he makes a mistake (Usually someone would say “I’m  trippin, not Dave).

2.       I will give you 15 minutes to finish up, you know about the time it takes you to get Chinese food, 15 minud.  (OK typing this is not as funny, because you have to imagine him saying 15 minud with a Chinese accent).

3.       Any kid that has to go to the bathroom, he asks them if they have diarrhea.  No explanation necessary for that one.

4.       If a student gets a pass from the counselor, he gives that to them and says “looks like you need counseling” or “we could all use some help from time to time”

5.       “Don’t be tardy tomorrow, you will be REtardy”. (I never claimed this would be a politically correct blog).

6.        “Don’t copy from anyone else; they may be dumber than you”.  You always get one or two students who look at you like “REALLY?”.

7.       “Did you watch Glee last night?”

8.       “Did you see that they have ___________on sale this week at Aldi.”  I swear I think Dave must have stock in Aldi.  He is a walking/talking advertisement for the store.  Really, if anyone from Aldi Headquarters happens to read this blog, you really should consider giving Dave a cut of the profits……..

These are just a few of my favorite.  I wish I could remember the countless jokes Dave says, and so many times, I can finish his sentences.  We are just very in-tune with one another.  I learn a lot and I don’t know what I will do when he decides to retire.  I know I am going to do my best to keep him there as long as I can.  I truly love being in the classroom with him.  I am so impressed with his relationship with the students.  He is truly a role model for them, he never gets upset or stressed.  No wonder so many students come back to see him after they graduate.  Ask just about any kid that has graduated from West and they will tell you that Modern Media was their favorite class and Dave was their favorite teacher. 

He has always accepted me and the special ed students with open arms and has been so understanding of some of the demands that I have from day to day.  The countless phone calls and meetings, or special ed related problems that happen during our class.  He has NEVER complained when I have to miss a class or take care of something.  He has been so supportive and just so damned fun to be around, all of the qualities that you need in a work spouse.  What a great job I have, that I love going into work, mainly because of the people I work closely with. 

Now let me tell you about my second work husband, Chris.   I could say we are newly-work-weds in a way.    This is our first year teaching Journalism 1 together and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE teaching with him.  The class make-up is so different from Modern Media.  In Media, the students do individual projects and you tend to work with them one-on-one.  In J-1 there is lecture and activities and I am actually doing much more traditional teaching.   I have to say, I was a little intimidated because I was not familiar with the content material and I have never had training in Journalism before, but I walked into the room the first day and I was hooked.

Chris is a phenomenal teacher, much like Dave, but his teaching style is VERY different.  Where Dave is laid back, Chris is anything but….Chris is incredibly high energy and you can’t help but wonder what he is going to come up with next.  We work well together and he is very open to what I have to say.  We may not always agree about things, but we are able to compromise and come to a consensus about what we are going to do for the class.  What is most gratifying is that I think what we are doing is working for students.  I am so proud of our class, I am so pleased by how the students are actually learning the material, while they are having fun.  We have come up with so many new things for this class this year and it is truly collaborative teaching at it’s best.  

Now to dish on Chris……he has turned out to be one of my very best friends.  I have to say that I love teaching more this year, because of him and the experiences I have had in his class.  I feel like I am back on top of my game as a teacher.  I have a lot of fun with him and I can give him a ton of crap and he gives it right back.  I think we have very similar philosophies about teaching, family, special education, and building positive relationships with our students.   He has a passion for teaching and learning and wants to be the best he can be.  He is always willing to try new approaches, or incorporate things into the lesson that I suggest.  I feel like I am 100% his partner in the classroom. 

I like that I can walk into his classroom and tell him ”Are you out of your f#@%ing mind?, or my personal favorite, “shut the f@#k up and just listen to me”  and he doesn’t take it personally. (I don’t EVER talk this way in front of students—INTENTIONALLY).   He has a way of making me feel more confident in myself as a teacher and he is able to read me very well.  I think he and I make a great team and it is exciting to be able to walk in the class every day and love being there.  I also am also confident that the sky is the limit in our class.  We will try new things and create an environment where students WANT to be.  I am looking forward to improving as a team and rocking J-1 for years to come.

I am so freaking lucky to work with these men.  I just can’t sing their praises enough.  I have been so fortunate to call Rooms 231 and 232 my home at West.  Thank you guys for being the greatest work-husbands in the world! 

My Road Warrior!

 

If any of you know my husband Donnie, he is the kindest, most laid back person you will ever meet.  He is so agreeable and soft-spoken and he never speaks ill of anyone.  That is just not in his nature.  That is until he drives to Springfield, Missouri, and the beast is unleashed.  It seems as if the minute we get to the Springfield city limits, he changes into this critical, unsympathetic creature that spews obscenities at anyone driving under the speed limit, over the speed limit, is too slow to make a turn, doesn’t use their blinker, uses their blinker too soon, or not soon enough, doesn’t get in the turn lane soon enough….well, you get the picture.  

Just today we were getting off the exit to Springfield and a car ran out of gas on the off ramp, well he goes into this tirade about how “asinine it is to run out of gas on an off ramp”, and “only in Springfield would this happen”, all the while using some very colorful words (while I was on the phone with my Mother).   We were in Springfield for exactly 30 seconds.   On the five minute drive to the hotel, he saw a truck that had a confederate flag in the back of it (now let me add—I DO NOT condone that at all, in fact, I think it is idiotic), but Donnie was still on his rampage and Mr. Confederate Chevy King Cab just added fuel to the fire. 

 I find this so amusing (ahhh.. it takes so little to entertain me).  I think I will try to keep a tally of all of the times Donnie turns into the beast on this trip.  I find it funny how he never seems to get upset while driving in St. Louis, but Springfield drivers instantly make him crazy.  Still, I love my Road Warrior!

Finding love.....

I am so fortunate.

            Putting your heart out there again after you have been hurt is terrifying.  I know I had no intention of ever falling in love again following my divorce after 10 years of marriage.  Just joining the dating pool again was a daunting task, but to actually consider giving myself, heart and soul to someone again was something I was sure that I would never consider.  Imagine my surprise when this long-haired musician/geologist walked into my life and rocked my world.

The first time I ever laid eyes on him, I was captured. I remember that moment when he introduced himself and the look in his eyes that captured my heart.  I look back on that now and I think that love at first sight really does exist.  Sounds corny, I know but I realized quickly that this man was a keeper.  

            The first time he told me that he loved me was a moment like no other in my life, but the day that I truly KNEW that he loved me changed my life.  We were coming home from a weekend trip and we stopped at a convenience store and got some snacks.  He got a package of mixed nuts and started picking out all of the Brazil nuts and handing them to me.  I asked him if he didn’t like them and he said “No, I like them, but I know they are your favorite.”  It was something so silly and so small, but it was the defining moment in our relationship.  I knew right then and there how lucky I was to find this man, this genuinely kind, gentle soul that really truly loved me enough to put my wants and needs first. 

            This has been the fastest and easiest relationship of my life.  When I say easy, it really is.  We don’t fight, or argue.  We just don’t—EVER!  We talk, and we compromise and we work hard to make things work.  Failure is not an option for us.  I am looking forward to spending a lifetime hanging out with Donnie. Each day, I am in awe and I say to myself, "I can't believe I just keep falling more and more in love with him every day!"    It’s funny, but I tell people all the time that I really LIKE my husband.  Of course, I love him, but I truly like him and I think that is the key to a successful partnership. 

I put together a list (kind of like my top 5 make out songs), of all of the qualities that I love about Donnie:

1.      He is kind.

2.     He loves my children and treats them as if they were his own, but is respectful of their relationship with their father.

3.     I can trust him with my entire being.

4.     He is good to the core and honest.

5.     He truly listens when I have something to say.

6.    He is there for me during the good and bad times.

7.     He is caring.

8.     He is never critical and ill-tempered and is not hurtful or demeaning.

9.     He understands listening is a key, but using what is heard is even more important.

10. He is there for me no matter what.

11.   He is not only my friend, but my best friend.

12.  He has a great sense of humor and thinks I am funny.

13.  We have a lot in common.

14. He has a constant open ear, open heart, and open mind to accept and love people for who they really are.

15.  He will always be there to support my ideas without argument.   

16. He can get a point across without yelling.

17.  He remembers all the stupid stuff I love, like my favorite ice cream flavor.

18. He can sense a mood problem, and not take it personally.

19. He understands the difference between PMS, and a real problem.

20.He can make me happy when I’m sad.

21.  He tells me the truth even if I don't want to hear it, but does it in a gentle and loving way.

22. He would never hurt me intentionally.

23. I can laugh with him.

24.He encourages me to grow both personally and professionally.

25. He acknowledges my thoughts and feelings whether they are positive or negative, justified or unjustified.

26. I feel completely comfortable with him.

27. He allows me to be myself and loves me for me.

28.He respects me.

29.He knows I am not perfect, and doesn’t expect me to be.   

30.He listens with his heart. 

The fact that STILL I cannot find the words to describe exactly how my heart feels when I am with him, infuriates me. However, even if I had all descriptive vocabulary embedded into my brain, I am sure that there still would not be a word that would fit exactly right. With that being said, I am going to give it a try…..

Donnie,

When you came along, I wasn't looking for anyone.  As I got to know you, I quickly found you to be a great friend, my best friend. You made me laugh from the heart and see things in a whole different way.  With you I can speak without wondering what you might think. I can be me and you can be you, we don’t have to fight or argue and there is no drama in our relationship (thank God for that). You learned my weakness and encouraged me to grow and to trust again. You found my strengths and challenged me to become even stronger and take chances. You helped me to see myself as a good and beautiful person; you showed me exactly how I wanted, needed and deserved to be loved.   

 Thank you for taking the time and having the thought to inform me of your plans or where you are and never forgetting to call me on your way home; you show the respect you have for me and for us by making me feel that I am important to you. It may seem like a silly thing, but it means so much to me.  Thank you for wanting to protect me from unkind words or behavior.  You proved that you would always have my back.  Thank you for speaking so complimentary of me to others; when you do this, you place such value on me and that makes me only want to be even better.

Thank you for all you give me by just being in my life.  You showed me the right way to love and helped me find a way to love myself again.  I was a different person back then (and not a person I liked very much).  You saved my life, you know. You saved my life!  I love you with my whole heart!

Denise

My Memories of Music.....

          I totally consider myself a "Child of the 80's".  I can easily sort life events and music and memories by my years in high school and college.  I can remember starting 1983 (sophomore year in high school) by watching MTV’s New Year's Eve Rock'n'Roll Ball with Duran Duran singing "Hungry Like The Wolf".  They were my absolutely favorite band of all time.  I always knew I would marry a bass player (and I did), but for many years I dreamed it would be John Taylor.  Not that I am complaining about the bass player I snagged.  Donnie Inman will always be my #1!!!!!

I know it’s kind of weird!  I remember Peter Gabriel and his song Sledgehammer which came out my freshman year in college in 1986 (which BTW is also one of my top 5 make-out songs—I will get back to that later in this blog). 

One of my all time favorite performers is Prince.  I have seen him in concert a couple of times and he was the ultimate performer.  I even paid for a concert ticket twice in high school when I lost my original ticket.  The film Purple Rain was and still is one of the only movies I will watch over and over.  Junior year (1984) was a good year because of Prince. 

I look back on some of the old cassette tapes I had back then and I see Bananarama (remember them), "He Was Really Sayin' Somethin'" "Shy Boy, "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye, " and “Cruel Summer”.  What about Kajagoogoo?  Too Shy, their one and only hit is still on my IPOD today! 

Now, I must admit to being a fan of Culture Club in the 80’s.  I spent many days singing “Church of the Poison Mind” and  “Karma Chameleon”.    I remember cruising in my Super–cool-Datsun 200SX with the windows down, singing “Everybody Have Fun Tonight” by Wang Chung,  “Down Under” by Men at Work and who can forget A Flock of Seagulls, “I Ran”.

My husband thinks it is hilarious that I can still sing most of these songs word for word.  Now as a musician, he doesn’t listen to lyrics, he listens to music…Me, I still remember most of the words to tons of  one-hit wonders like “I Want Candy” by Bow Wow Wow (remember the chick with the Mohawk),  “Tainted Love,” “Mickey,”  “Der Kommissar” (in both English and German), 99 Luftballons (I only remember that one in English)  Even the super obscure songs like Aldo Nove’s “Fantasy,” Scritti Politti’s “A Perfect Way,” and Michael Damien’s “Rock On’”  I can sing verbatim. 

            OK—Let me finish this blog with my top 5 Make-out songs of all time.  It’s funny how my list has not changed much through the years.  You might be surprised by my choices.  No sweet, slow, sappy love songs for me…..and no I am not a freak!

#5-Kashmir-Led Zeppelin

#4 Leave Your Hat On-Joe Cocker

#3-Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezing by Journey

#2-Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard

#1-Sledgehammer by Peter Gabriel

Man, the 80’s were AWESOME!  It makes me want to download some of my favorite Oldies!  Did I just say that my music was old?  Damn, have I turned into that person?  Oldies used to be the 50’s and 60’s music.  Now it’s 70’s and 80”s.  Where did the time go?

    

Catching myself on fire.....

Yes, it's true! 


I always loved this old sweatshirt of Donnie's.  It was an old, battleship gray, fleece, super-baggy jersey, and the most comfortable piece of clothing ever! I was wearing it one afternoon as I was cooking dinner for my family.  I was fixing pork chops and mashed potatoes and I had a couple of burners going at the same time.
All of the sudden as I was reaching to stir one of the pots on the back burner I heard a SWISH and I saw a  flame starting to go up my right arm.  In a matter of seconds I saw the flame coming down my left arm.


OK, what would be the first thing you would think about?  Mine was, "well, I can't stop, drop and roll, because I don't want to ruin my floor in my kitchen".  Seriously--looking back at it now, I WISH I would have done the drop and roll in my family room on that ugly maroon carpet that I have hated forever, maybe I could have gotten it replaced! 


Well, I pulled my beloved sweatshirt off and threw it into my kitchen sink  I turned the water on and doused what was left of it with water.  After pulling the shirt over my head, I worried that the flame had burned my hair, so I grabbed the nozzle from the kitchen sink and held it over my head until I was soaked from head to toe.  I was lucky that the flame had not burned my skin at all, it just destroyed my comfy shirt.


There was water everywhere....all over the floor, the counter, the curtains....I mean everywhere!
What I did not know was that my husband had walked in the front door and saw me standing  in sweatpants and my bra spraying myself with water in the middle of my kitchen.  I turned around to see him laughing so hard he was almost crying.  Needless to say, I had some explaining to do, along with a helluva lot of water to mop up!