Finding love.....

I am so fortunate.

            Putting your heart out there again after you have been hurt is terrifying.  I know I had no intention of ever falling in love again following my divorce after 10 years of marriage.  Just joining the dating pool again was a daunting task, but to actually consider giving myself, heart and soul to someone again was something I was sure that I would never consider.  Imagine my surprise when this long-haired musician/geologist walked into my life and rocked my world.

The first time I ever laid eyes on him, I was captured. I remember that moment when he introduced himself and the look in his eyes that captured my heart.  I look back on that now and I think that love at first sight really does exist.  Sounds corny, I know but I realized quickly that this man was a keeper.  

            The first time he told me that he loved me was a moment like no other in my life, but the day that I truly KNEW that he loved me changed my life.  We were coming home from a weekend trip and we stopped at a convenience store and got some snacks.  He got a package of mixed nuts and started picking out all of the Brazil nuts and handing them to me.  I asked him if he didn’t like them and he said “No, I like them, but I know they are your favorite.”  It was something so silly and so small, but it was the defining moment in our relationship.  I knew right then and there how lucky I was to find this man, this genuinely kind, gentle soul that really truly loved me enough to put my wants and needs first. 

            This has been the fastest and easiest relationship of my life.  When I say easy, it really is.  We don’t fight, or argue.  We just don’t—EVER!  We talk, and we compromise and we work hard to make things work.  Failure is not an option for us.  I am looking forward to spending a lifetime hanging out with Donnie. Each day, I am in awe and I say to myself, "I can't believe I just keep falling more and more in love with him every day!"    It’s funny, but I tell people all the time that I really LIKE my husband.  Of course, I love him, but I truly like him and I think that is the key to a successful partnership. 

I put together a list (kind of like my top 5 make out songs), of all of the qualities that I love about Donnie:

1.      He is kind.

2.     He loves my children and treats them as if they were his own, but is respectful of their relationship with their father.

3.     I can trust him with my entire being.

4.     He is good to the core and honest.

5.     He truly listens when I have something to say.

6.    He is there for me during the good and bad times.

7.     He is caring.

8.     He is never critical and ill-tempered and is not hurtful or demeaning.

9.     He understands listening is a key, but using what is heard is even more important.

10. He is there for me no matter what.

11.   He is not only my friend, but my best friend.

12.  He has a great sense of humor and thinks I am funny.

13.  We have a lot in common.

14. He has a constant open ear, open heart, and open mind to accept and love people for who they really are.

15.  He will always be there to support my ideas without argument.   

16. He can get a point across without yelling.

17.  He remembers all the stupid stuff I love, like my favorite ice cream flavor.

18. He can sense a mood problem, and not take it personally.

19. He understands the difference between PMS, and a real problem.

20.He can make me happy when I’m sad.

21.  He tells me the truth even if I don't want to hear it, but does it in a gentle and loving way.

22. He would never hurt me intentionally.

23. I can laugh with him.

24.He encourages me to grow both personally and professionally.

25. He acknowledges my thoughts and feelings whether they are positive or negative, justified or unjustified.

26. I feel completely comfortable with him.

27. He allows me to be myself and loves me for me.

28.He respects me.

29.He knows I am not perfect, and doesn’t expect me to be.   

30.He listens with his heart. 

The fact that STILL I cannot find the words to describe exactly how my heart feels when I am with him, infuriates me. However, even if I had all descriptive vocabulary embedded into my brain, I am sure that there still would not be a word that would fit exactly right. With that being said, I am going to give it a try…..

Donnie,

When you came along, I wasn't looking for anyone.  As I got to know you, I quickly found you to be a great friend, my best friend. You made me laugh from the heart and see things in a whole different way.  With you I can speak without wondering what you might think. I can be me and you can be you, we don’t have to fight or argue and there is no drama in our relationship (thank God for that). You learned my weakness and encouraged me to grow and to trust again. You found my strengths and challenged me to become even stronger and take chances. You helped me to see myself as a good and beautiful person; you showed me exactly how I wanted, needed and deserved to be loved.   

 Thank you for taking the time and having the thought to inform me of your plans or where you are and never forgetting to call me on your way home; you show the respect you have for me and for us by making me feel that I am important to you. It may seem like a silly thing, but it means so much to me.  Thank you for wanting to protect me from unkind words or behavior.  You proved that you would always have my back.  Thank you for speaking so complimentary of me to others; when you do this, you place such value on me and that makes me only want to be even better.

Thank you for all you give me by just being in my life.  You showed me the right way to love and helped me find a way to love myself again.  I was a different person back then (and not a person I liked very much).  You saved my life, you know. You saved my life!  I love you with my whole heart!

Denise