PROFESSIONAL POLYGAMY

I am sure you are wondering what the title of this blog means!  I am a very lucky woman.  I have a real-life husband who is awesome, but I am fortunate enough to have two work husbands who are both amazing men. 

I will start with Dave, (since we have been together the longest).  Dave is an incredible work partner.  He reminds me so much of my real-life husband, with his laid-back personality and agreeable disposition.  We have been working together for over 5 years now and I think I have taken his Modern Media class 25 plus times.  As a special education collaborative teacher, many times you are looked at as a teacher’s assistant, you are just there and the students do not really see you as a teacher.  That is not the case with Dave, he has always treated me as if I belong and we are a team.  He makes sure to always tell the students that Modern Media is “our” class and I have never felt that I was not fully a CO-TEACHER and he lets both students and parents know from Day 1 that I am just as invested in the class as he is. 

I have been in classes previously where the teacher did not even introduce me to the class, he would have class discussions where the students would sit in a circle and I was not included.  He NEVER spoke to me, never let me work with students and basically I stood by the heater in the room for an entire year, watching him teach.  He was bizarre anyway; thank God he is no longer at Hazelwood West.  That was one of my first years teaching and I have learned a lot since then, I would never let that happen now, but luckily, I don’t have to worry about that.

 I digressed, sorry….Back to Dave.  I love listening to all of Dave’s what I call “Daveisms”.  My absolute favorites are:

1.       “ My trip”--he says that when he makes a mistake (Usually someone would say “I’m  trippin, not Dave).

2.       I will give you 15 minutes to finish up, you know about the time it takes you to get Chinese food, 15 minud.  (OK typing this is not as funny, because you have to imagine him saying 15 minud with a Chinese accent).

3.       Any kid that has to go to the bathroom, he asks them if they have diarrhea.  No explanation necessary for that one.

4.       If a student gets a pass from the counselor, he gives that to them and says “looks like you need counseling” or “we could all use some help from time to time”

5.       “Don’t be tardy tomorrow, you will be REtardy”. (I never claimed this would be a politically correct blog).

6.        “Don’t copy from anyone else; they may be dumber than you”.  You always get one or two students who look at you like “REALLY?”.

7.       “Did you watch Glee last night?”

8.       “Did you see that they have ___________on sale this week at Aldi.”  I swear I think Dave must have stock in Aldi.  He is a walking/talking advertisement for the store.  Really, if anyone from Aldi Headquarters happens to read this blog, you really should consider giving Dave a cut of the profits……..

These are just a few of my favorite.  I wish I could remember the countless jokes Dave says, and so many times, I can finish his sentences.  We are just very in-tune with one another.  I learn a lot and I don’t know what I will do when he decides to retire.  I know I am going to do my best to keep him there as long as I can.  I truly love being in the classroom with him.  I am so impressed with his relationship with the students.  He is truly a role model for them, he never gets upset or stressed.  No wonder so many students come back to see him after they graduate.  Ask just about any kid that has graduated from West and they will tell you that Modern Media was their favorite class and Dave was their favorite teacher. 

He has always accepted me and the special ed students with open arms and has been so understanding of some of the demands that I have from day to day.  The countless phone calls and meetings, or special ed related problems that happen during our class.  He has NEVER complained when I have to miss a class or take care of something.  He has been so supportive and just so damned fun to be around, all of the qualities that you need in a work spouse.  What a great job I have, that I love going into work, mainly because of the people I work closely with. 

Now let me tell you about my second work husband, Chris.   I could say we are newly-work-weds in a way.    This is our first year teaching Journalism 1 together and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE teaching with him.  The class make-up is so different from Modern Media.  In Media, the students do individual projects and you tend to work with them one-on-one.  In J-1 there is lecture and activities and I am actually doing much more traditional teaching.   I have to say, I was a little intimidated because I was not familiar with the content material and I have never had training in Journalism before, but I walked into the room the first day and I was hooked.

Chris is a phenomenal teacher, much like Dave, but his teaching style is VERY different.  Where Dave is laid back, Chris is anything but….Chris is incredibly high energy and you can’t help but wonder what he is going to come up with next.  We work well together and he is very open to what I have to say.  We may not always agree about things, but we are able to compromise and come to a consensus about what we are going to do for the class.  What is most gratifying is that I think what we are doing is working for students.  I am so proud of our class, I am so pleased by how the students are actually learning the material, while they are having fun.  We have come up with so many new things for this class this year and it is truly collaborative teaching at it’s best.  

Now to dish on Chris……he has turned out to be one of my very best friends.  I have to say that I love teaching more this year, because of him and the experiences I have had in his class.  I feel like I am back on top of my game as a teacher.  I have a lot of fun with him and I can give him a ton of crap and he gives it right back.  I think we have very similar philosophies about teaching, family, special education, and building positive relationships with our students.   He has a passion for teaching and learning and wants to be the best he can be.  He is always willing to try new approaches, or incorporate things into the lesson that I suggest.  I feel like I am 100% his partner in the classroom. 

I like that I can walk into his classroom and tell him ”Are you out of your f#@%ing mind?, or my personal favorite, “shut the f@#k up and just listen to me”  and he doesn’t take it personally. (I don’t EVER talk this way in front of students—INTENTIONALLY).   He has a way of making me feel more confident in myself as a teacher and he is able to read me very well.  I think he and I make a great team and it is exciting to be able to walk in the class every day and love being there.  I also am also confident that the sky is the limit in our class.  We will try new things and create an environment where students WANT to be.  I am looking forward to improving as a team and rocking J-1 for years to come.

I am so freaking lucky to work with these men.  I just can’t sing their praises enough.  I have been so fortunate to call Rooms 231 and 232 my home at West.  Thank you guys for being the greatest work-husbands in the world! 

My Road Warrior!

 

If any of you know my husband Donnie, he is the kindest, most laid back person you will ever meet.  He is so agreeable and soft-spoken and he never speaks ill of anyone.  That is just not in his nature.  That is until he drives to Springfield, Missouri, and the beast is unleashed.  It seems as if the minute we get to the Springfield city limits, he changes into this critical, unsympathetic creature that spews obscenities at anyone driving under the speed limit, over the speed limit, is too slow to make a turn, doesn’t use their blinker, uses their blinker too soon, or not soon enough, doesn’t get in the turn lane soon enough….well, you get the picture.  

Just today we were getting off the exit to Springfield and a car ran out of gas on the off ramp, well he goes into this tirade about how “asinine it is to run out of gas on an off ramp”, and “only in Springfield would this happen”, all the while using some very colorful words (while I was on the phone with my Mother).   We were in Springfield for exactly 30 seconds.   On the five minute drive to the hotel, he saw a truck that had a confederate flag in the back of it (now let me add—I DO NOT condone that at all, in fact, I think it is idiotic), but Donnie was still on his rampage and Mr. Confederate Chevy King Cab just added fuel to the fire. 

 I find this so amusing (ahhh.. it takes so little to entertain me).  I think I will try to keep a tally of all of the times Donnie turns into the beast on this trip.  I find it funny how he never seems to get upset while driving in St. Louis, but Springfield drivers instantly make him crazy.  Still, I love my Road Warrior!

Finding love.....

I am so fortunate.

            Putting your heart out there again after you have been hurt is terrifying.  I know I had no intention of ever falling in love again following my divorce after 10 years of marriage.  Just joining the dating pool again was a daunting task, but to actually consider giving myself, heart and soul to someone again was something I was sure that I would never consider.  Imagine my surprise when this long-haired musician/geologist walked into my life and rocked my world.

The first time I ever laid eyes on him, I was captured. I remember that moment when he introduced himself and the look in his eyes that captured my heart.  I look back on that now and I think that love at first sight really does exist.  Sounds corny, I know but I realized quickly that this man was a keeper.  

            The first time he told me that he loved me was a moment like no other in my life, but the day that I truly KNEW that he loved me changed my life.  We were coming home from a weekend trip and we stopped at a convenience store and got some snacks.  He got a package of mixed nuts and started picking out all of the Brazil nuts and handing them to me.  I asked him if he didn’t like them and he said “No, I like them, but I know they are your favorite.”  It was something so silly and so small, but it was the defining moment in our relationship.  I knew right then and there how lucky I was to find this man, this genuinely kind, gentle soul that really truly loved me enough to put my wants and needs first. 

            This has been the fastest and easiest relationship of my life.  When I say easy, it really is.  We don’t fight, or argue.  We just don’t—EVER!  We talk, and we compromise and we work hard to make things work.  Failure is not an option for us.  I am looking forward to spending a lifetime hanging out with Donnie. Each day, I am in awe and I say to myself, "I can't believe I just keep falling more and more in love with him every day!"    It’s funny, but I tell people all the time that I really LIKE my husband.  Of course, I love him, but I truly like him and I think that is the key to a successful partnership. 

I put together a list (kind of like my top 5 make out songs), of all of the qualities that I love about Donnie:

1.      He is kind.

2.     He loves my children and treats them as if they were his own, but is respectful of their relationship with their father.

3.     I can trust him with my entire being.

4.     He is good to the core and honest.

5.     He truly listens when I have something to say.

6.    He is there for me during the good and bad times.

7.     He is caring.

8.     He is never critical and ill-tempered and is not hurtful or demeaning.

9.     He understands listening is a key, but using what is heard is even more important.

10. He is there for me no matter what.

11.   He is not only my friend, but my best friend.

12.  He has a great sense of humor and thinks I am funny.

13.  We have a lot in common.

14. He has a constant open ear, open heart, and open mind to accept and love people for who they really are.

15.  He will always be there to support my ideas without argument.   

16. He can get a point across without yelling.

17.  He remembers all the stupid stuff I love, like my favorite ice cream flavor.

18. He can sense a mood problem, and not take it personally.

19. He understands the difference between PMS, and a real problem.

20.He can make me happy when I’m sad.

21.  He tells me the truth even if I don't want to hear it, but does it in a gentle and loving way.

22. He would never hurt me intentionally.

23. I can laugh with him.

24.He encourages me to grow both personally and professionally.

25. He acknowledges my thoughts and feelings whether they are positive or negative, justified or unjustified.

26. I feel completely comfortable with him.

27. He allows me to be myself and loves me for me.

28.He respects me.

29.He knows I am not perfect, and doesn’t expect me to be.   

30.He listens with his heart. 

The fact that STILL I cannot find the words to describe exactly how my heart feels when I am with him, infuriates me. However, even if I had all descriptive vocabulary embedded into my brain, I am sure that there still would not be a word that would fit exactly right. With that being said, I am going to give it a try…..

Donnie,

When you came along, I wasn't looking for anyone.  As I got to know you, I quickly found you to be a great friend, my best friend. You made me laugh from the heart and see things in a whole different way.  With you I can speak without wondering what you might think. I can be me and you can be you, we don’t have to fight or argue and there is no drama in our relationship (thank God for that). You learned my weakness and encouraged me to grow and to trust again. You found my strengths and challenged me to become even stronger and take chances. You helped me to see myself as a good and beautiful person; you showed me exactly how I wanted, needed and deserved to be loved.   

 Thank you for taking the time and having the thought to inform me of your plans or where you are and never forgetting to call me on your way home; you show the respect you have for me and for us by making me feel that I am important to you. It may seem like a silly thing, but it means so much to me.  Thank you for wanting to protect me from unkind words or behavior.  You proved that you would always have my back.  Thank you for speaking so complimentary of me to others; when you do this, you place such value on me and that makes me only want to be even better.

Thank you for all you give me by just being in my life.  You showed me the right way to love and helped me find a way to love myself again.  I was a different person back then (and not a person I liked very much).  You saved my life, you know. You saved my life!  I love you with my whole heart!

Denise

My Memories of Music.....

          I totally consider myself a "Child of the 80's".  I can easily sort life events and music and memories by my years in high school and college.  I can remember starting 1983 (sophomore year in high school) by watching MTV’s New Year's Eve Rock'n'Roll Ball with Duran Duran singing "Hungry Like The Wolf".  They were my absolutely favorite band of all time.  I always knew I would marry a bass player (and I did), but for many years I dreamed it would be John Taylor.  Not that I am complaining about the bass player I snagged.  Donnie Inman will always be my #1!!!!!

I know it’s kind of weird!  I remember Peter Gabriel and his song Sledgehammer which came out my freshman year in college in 1986 (which BTW is also one of my top 5 make-out songs—I will get back to that later in this blog). 

One of my all time favorite performers is Prince.  I have seen him in concert a couple of times and he was the ultimate performer.  I even paid for a concert ticket twice in high school when I lost my original ticket.  The film Purple Rain was and still is one of the only movies I will watch over and over.  Junior year (1984) was a good year because of Prince. 

I look back on some of the old cassette tapes I had back then and I see Bananarama (remember them), "He Was Really Sayin' Somethin'" "Shy Boy, "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye, " and “Cruel Summer”.  What about Kajagoogoo?  Too Shy, their one and only hit is still on my IPOD today! 

Now, I must admit to being a fan of Culture Club in the 80’s.  I spent many days singing “Church of the Poison Mind” and  “Karma Chameleon”.    I remember cruising in my Super–cool-Datsun 200SX with the windows down, singing “Everybody Have Fun Tonight” by Wang Chung,  “Down Under” by Men at Work and who can forget A Flock of Seagulls, “I Ran”.

My husband thinks it is hilarious that I can still sing most of these songs word for word.  Now as a musician, he doesn’t listen to lyrics, he listens to music…Me, I still remember most of the words to tons of  one-hit wonders like “I Want Candy” by Bow Wow Wow (remember the chick with the Mohawk),  “Tainted Love,” “Mickey,”  “Der Kommissar” (in both English and German), 99 Luftballons (I only remember that one in English)  Even the super obscure songs like Aldo Nove’s “Fantasy,” Scritti Politti’s “A Perfect Way,” and Michael Damien’s “Rock On’”  I can sing verbatim. 

            OK—Let me finish this blog with my top 5 Make-out songs of all time.  It’s funny how my list has not changed much through the years.  You might be surprised by my choices.  No sweet, slow, sappy love songs for me…..and no I am not a freak!

#5-Kashmir-Led Zeppelin

#4 Leave Your Hat On-Joe Cocker

#3-Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezing by Journey

#2-Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard

#1-Sledgehammer by Peter Gabriel

Man, the 80’s were AWESOME!  It makes me want to download some of my favorite Oldies!  Did I just say that my music was old?  Damn, have I turned into that person?  Oldies used to be the 50’s and 60’s music.  Now it’s 70’s and 80”s.  Where did the time go?

    

Catching myself on fire.....

Yes, it's true! 


I always loved this old sweatshirt of Donnie's.  It was an old, battleship gray, fleece, super-baggy jersey, and the most comfortable piece of clothing ever! I was wearing it one afternoon as I was cooking dinner for my family.  I was fixing pork chops and mashed potatoes and I had a couple of burners going at the same time.
All of the sudden as I was reaching to stir one of the pots on the back burner I heard a SWISH and I saw a  flame starting to go up my right arm.  In a matter of seconds I saw the flame coming down my left arm.


OK, what would be the first thing you would think about?  Mine was, "well, I can't stop, drop and roll, because I don't want to ruin my floor in my kitchen".  Seriously--looking back at it now, I WISH I would have done the drop and roll in my family room on that ugly maroon carpet that I have hated forever, maybe I could have gotten it replaced! 


Well, I pulled my beloved sweatshirt off and threw it into my kitchen sink  I turned the water on and doused what was left of it with water.  After pulling the shirt over my head, I worried that the flame had burned my hair, so I grabbed the nozzle from the kitchen sink and held it over my head until I was soaked from head to toe.  I was lucky that the flame had not burned my skin at all, it just destroyed my comfy shirt.


There was water everywhere....all over the floor, the counter, the curtains....I mean everywhere!
What I did not know was that my husband had walked in the front door and saw me standing  in sweatpants and my bra spraying myself with water in the middle of my kitchen.  I turned around to see him laughing so hard he was almost crying.  Needless to say, I had some explaining to do, along with a helluva lot of water to mop up! 

What shall I write?

     How exciting!  My first blog.  Now I get to choose what I am going to write about.  Without topics that my teacher friends use, I will create a topic for myself.  My Top 3 stupid things that have happened to me.


Here we go:
1.  Johnny on the Spot falls in front of my car on the highway.  Yes really.....Thank God it was empty, because there is no amount of antibacterial soap that could have saved this self-described germophobe from that!  The best  part, I call my friend who is a Hazelwood Police Officer and tell him what happens, and he asks me if I am OK, and when I say yes, he proceeds to start laughing uncontrollably.  He starts telling his police buddies and after they all have a good laugh, tell me "SHIT HAPPENS".


2.  Wal-Mart Checkers in a fist fight-This happened the last time I was at Wal-Mart, and I mean the VERY last time I will ever step foot in a Wal-Mart.....I was buying a gift for my niece's bridal shower and as I was checking out, the cashier in the lane next to me (let's call her Checker A)  started yelling at the cashier in the lane next to her (she is Checker Z).  It was one of those moments where you really can't believe it is happening.  All of the sudden Checker Z leaves her asile and goes over and grabs Checker A's hair and pulls her to the ground.  Checker A gets up swinging and it is a free for all!  The crack security team in the front of the store are standing there watching until the police came and take them away.  You gotta love Wal-Mart!  NOT!!


3.  Strange drunk guy licked my ear at a Madahoochi concert-I know it's gross.  What makes it worse is it was right in front of my husband, who did absolutely nothing!  The guy came up to me, asked me to dance and even though I told him "NO THANKS," he still had to dirty dance around me.  Donnie and his buddy Jim (who ended up knowing this guy) were laughing hysterically.   I figured the best way to get out of the situation was just to dance with him for the rest of the song.  Well, if you have ever seen Madahoochi, their songs can last 10 minutes plus....well, this one did! 
Well, the song finally ended and strange guy hugged me and said "thanks for the dance", then he freaking LICKED MY EAR!  I sat down and told Donnie what happened and he just laughed!  I love that he is so laid back, but DAMN!
     An addendum to the story--Strange guy ended up showing up at one of Donnie's gigs and sat with us at our table.  Toward the end of the night I finally told him what happened at the concert and he was really embarrassed and apologized to both me and Donnie. 


That's all for now....More to come later!